Weekly Totals of Chaos

Where have I been, you ask? At home, on the computer, studying and working. You know that thing that happens when you're too busy getting stuff done to look up? That's time..... ticking away (not to mention what those silly kids have been up to for the last 30 minutes!) I have searched the entire house and haven't found any plans for mutiny yet, so maybe I'm still good. What do you think? Throw in the added chaos of half term and you have a potion to make time disappear instantly.

Let's count the facts:

• Time outs- 4 (a major unexpected win!)
• Items removed from the cupboards without prior approval - 3 (did I tell you that the little one has worked out how to remove my pipe cleaner lock? No? Well, it didn't take him long at all to work that one out)
• Showers for the kids- 1.5 (oops! I need to get on that tomorrow!)
• Showers for myself - 1 (I know it's just sad but don't judge me)
• Nighttime hours spent studying - 12 (I was up until 6:30 am Tues night/Wed morning)
• Daytime hours spent studying - 5
• Hours spent doing crafts/colouring - 4 (ugh :/ bad mommy )
• Hours spent cleaning/doing housework - too many to count! But does it look like it? Not really!

Total: Not too shabby but definitely room for improvement

The kids were adorable today. Lynnea got Brannon all dressed after I helped her solve the crisis of "Brannon freaking out and not letting her put his shirt on". He doesn't really like the shirt going over his head  but he puts up with it when I do it too quickly for him to realise what's happening. I can only imagine little 5-year-old hands don't have the speed or surprise effect that mine do. We opted for a button up shirt instead. Brannon is a broccoli monster. Seriously. He eats it like it's candy. And guess what we had with dinner? Yep! He spent the entirety of the meal stealing the broccoli off of sister's plate and giggling like crazy. Lynnea likes broccoli too but she let him get away with it and at one point, they were sitting next to each other eating their 'tiny trees'. I love days like this where no one really gets upset with each other and there isn't dissension in the ranks. That wasn't the case yesterday.... or was it the day before? Whatever day it was, Lynnea had a complete meltdown because I wouldn't get her more cereal even though she had over half of an uneaten bowl of the stuff sitting directly in front of her. That timeout took 20 minutes before she gave up and sat down for the 5 required minutes. Maybe that's why she was so good today. Goodness I hope so! Nothing tests your patience like being hit, kicked, and screamed at by a deceptively strong little girl. Or having to rock both of them to sleep at the same time for an hour before we all finally passed out from sheer exhaustion. It's comforting to think that somewhere in the world, another parent is doing the exact same thing. Otherwise I'd probably go completely crazy! You know, instead of just the partially crazy I already am. 

I'd love to hear your stories! To have your adenture featured on my blog, email your story to me at jennealrussell@gmail.com  and try not to pull out too much hair today ;)

Shout Out to all of the Dads (and every parent/care giver) Out There!

It seems that all of the dads out there need an advocate so let's see if I am up to the challenge and give all of the wonderful caring fathers their moment to shine! Today I was in the shop looking at the baby aisle as I got on with my shopping. I really have no idea why I still peruse this stuff. I don't buy nappies or wipes or baby food anymore but for some reason I just like to see what's going on over there just in case anything awesome catches my eye. I look at the endless jars of baby food with their colorful packaging and slogans that make you want to buy them when, once again, I see all the dads being completely ignored! One jar was staring me down with it's label that read "inspired by a recipe from Susan, a mom just like you". I thought to myself, "hmmmm ok" and looked at another jar, then another, and another.....until I had looked at all of the jars and not one of them was 'inspired by a recipe by a dad just like you'. BUT WHY???? Don't dads love their kids just as much as moms do? What about all those delicious meals lovingly prepared by dads all around the world? Working dads, stay at home dads, divorced dads, single dads.......... WHY ONLY MOMS, baby food?? I then went home and turned on the tv only to be bombarded by baby adverts telling me that 'moms choose this or moms approve that' and, frankly, I was outraged! I know that moms work hard and, believe me, this isn't anything against all of the mothers out there. For I am a mother and I speak for the.......dads.....and moms.....and grandparents, foster parents, step-parents, and anyone else who has ever looked after and lovingly taken care of a child. I have to ask, why can't things be 'parent approved'? So I am calling out to all of you dads wherever you are I salute you and I know you care for your kids. And I am calling out to all of the moms out there wherever you are because I salute you as well. It's not a competition! Parents have it tough sometimes. Heck, people in general have it tough sometimes. And I can't stress this enough: it is not about being perfect because that will drive you insane and to an early grave. I hear you snickering about how Jane dropped her kids off to school wearing her bedroom slippers and challenge you to think of a day when you didn't wish you could do the same. I see the pointing at Bob when little Kyle is waiting to go into class with chocolate on his face. Do we know for sure it was a chocolate bar and does it really matter??? I will put my hand up and say I have bribed my kids once or twice with a granola bar or cookie to get them ready on time just so I don't completely lose my mind. You put their clothes on, they take them off. You ask them to brush their teeth and they use it to brush the cat's teeth instead. Do I do it every day? No. Because then it would stop working! Hahahaha!  I'm only joking and I do try to keep all of my posts fun but I do want you to come away with a bit to think about and that is: we all do the best we can and we fall short of perfection. I would love to be the super mom with the immaculate house and freshly baked goods who always looks completely put together and smiley. I have been that person and I will tell you this. It never feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside. So when you see me stopped at the curb begging and pleading with my kids to hold my hand while we cross the street, in the same jeans I have worn every day this week, a t-shirt I bought at Aeropostale when I was 16, and fluffy hair that would put a baby chick to shame just know that I read to my kids, make them healthy food, play with them when they get home from school, do my best to get everything else done in the middle. I am well aware that my life is perfectly imperfect and that's the way I like it. 

Trapped

We have been experiencing torrential rain at the moment. Nearly every day for over a week, needless to say, the kids and I are basically trapped in the house. We've been making the most of it though. We did finally make those crowns. We also made books, a 'Disney Junior den', had a Lynnea-mummy-brannon- pajama-movie-cuddle day, and stomped in muddy puddles like Peppa Pig when the rain had slowed down a bit. So it hasn't been awful but I think all of us are going a little stir crazy. I really have to give the kids a ton of credit. They're high spirited little ones and they've been much better to each other than I thought they would be. Yes there has been fighting, arguing, hitting, and snatching but not even as much as on an actual school day. I think the morning crafts have really helped them stay happier throughout the day.

Today the weather was nice enough to actually leave the house! I made plans with my sisiter-in-law to meet her and my little niece at the park so the kids could all run around and play. I hadn't really thought this through though. When I go to the big park, it's usually when my husband is home. That way we can each watch one kid. During the week I take the kids to the smaller park nearest our house so it's easy to watch them both by myself and the play area is completely fenced in so they can't go running off when I'm chasing after the other one. This is not the case at the big park. You enter through a gate and the sides are completely fenced in until you get to the other end where it seems they must have run out of fencing materials after deciding to build some picnic tables and put up a giant swinging log. Personally, I think a fence is probably the more practical choice but I am sure the log seemed like a fantastic plan at the time. Hindsight is always 20/20 and all that, you know? Anyway, neither of us were completely tuned into this breach in security when Brannon saw another little boy start to run toward the open gate leading to the parking lot. Being a gloomy, overcast, chilly, windy Monday morning not many other people had the idea to join the park adventure, thank goodness, so it wasn't impossible to see your child if they run more than 5 feet away from you. After catching my tiny son mid-escape I turned around to notice that my daughter was no longer where I left her a second ago. Every parent has had this happen and it is absolutely the worst feeling you could ever experience. You feel like you're going to die from panic. You call the child's name as calmly as you can at first and if they don't respond you get increasingly louder and more panic striken.  Luckily for me, I only had to call once for Lynnea and she had only escaped the fenced area to the big log (ah ha now you see why I went into all of that seemingly useless description of the park's layout). She was wearing the kind of ear-to-ear grin you'd expect to see on the face of an escaped convict when they find out they've not only gotten away with it but they've just stumbled upon a huge pile of cash to boot! This doesn't happen to me often at all but it really got me down. I literally felt like the world's worst parent. Maybe you're reading this agreeing with me or maybe you're breathing a sigh of relief to see you aren't the only one who has temporarily lost track of their child. Either way, when it happens to you just remember you are not alone in this and most likely your child is gleefully smiling at you having a heart attack.

The Crack Before Dawn

My soon to be 2 year old son has been sleeping through the night (finally!) since a few months ago when we moved him into a toddler bed. At first it was great! He was sleeping until 7am!!! I thought I finally hit the jackpot and had 2 children who were good sleepers. But as we all know, life, and my tiny son had other ideas. Slowly he started waking up earlier. I brushed it off as a one off "He just went to bed late. He has the sniffles...." and so on and so forth. Then it got to the point where a 7 up front was a thing of the past. We were into the 6 o'clock bracket but just barely. It was kind of nice. Those sleepy snuggles on the couch with him while I knitted and watched 'Scandal' were lovely and I looked forward to our one-on-one time. I think he could sense my acceptance and contentment with our new routine and in an eternal experiment to push the limits, he changed his schedule yet again. Now I don't know if it's just me but if I go to bed at 9pm my natural wake up time is not 5am...... But Brannon's is! I made lemonade yet again and used the time to try to get my housework done. Maybe he does have my best interest at heart and wants me to be able to watch 'Penny Dreadful' during his nap (see my post 'Dishes or Penny Dreadful? That is the Question' for the answer).  This past week we hit an all new milestone! He walked into the bedroom and gently tapped my arm whilst quietly calling my name. I opened my eyes to see the red-orange glow of a barely awakened sun. Immediately I felt as if I had been hit by a freight train. I just kind of stayed glued to the spot for a moment, too terrified to see the hour but my resistance couldn't last too long in the event we woke up daddy bear. It was 4:50. Yep that was actually a 4 up front and he was up FOR THE DAY. 

I don't really remember anything from the day after the 5th cup of coffee. It was all a blur and I was transformed into a human-sloth hybrid. By the time my turn to sleep rolled around I felt like it had been an eternity since I last felt the soft embrace of my pillow and the cool crispness of the fitted sheet below me. Then in the blink of an eye, he was tapping my arm once more and I had never been so grateful for the 6 o'clock bracket.

The Fab 4th!

The past week has been crazy! It was spent getting ready for the 4th of July which keeps edging it's way to the spot of my top favorite holiday each year. There's just something nostalgic and wonderful about the unbridled celebration and joy of loving your country even from within the one you worked so hard to become independent from. To prepare for the big day,  I spent too much time watching youtube nail tutorials by @missjenfabulous   https://www.youtube.com/user/MissJenFABULOUS  and she really is fabulous! I even impressed myself with the final product which only took.....oh....about 3 hours (including drying time). I am hopelessly perfectionistic™ (yep, look out Merriam Webster! We'll be using the dictionary of Jenneal from now on) 

Fast forward to the bbq......

Everything went smoothly and we all had a great time. Since we live in the city, we couldn't properly do s'mores over a campfire so I ended up making them in the oven. They lacked that beautiful taste of burning wood and burnt marshmallow that I love ever so much but they were actually pretty delightful. And I finally found some delicious gluten free digestive biscuits (for my fellow Americans, digestive biscuits are a sightly more buttery graham cracker but in cookie form). I felt like I was on my own little patriotic island surrounded by a sea of British-ness. The only thing missing were some awe-inspiring fireworks. I was starting to feel like we were going to actually pull off the entire day without a hitch. Nope! At the end of the evening we found ourselves being attacked by swarms flies who refused to be left out of the celebrations. Then next morning I woke up the next morning to my poor little girl retching. Then my tiny son decided he wasn't going to bed until 9pm after only having a short nap on his Daddy. But I refuse to let it get me down. On the bright side, our house has never been so disinfected! I am even considering renting our house out as a pop up surgery venue. If I would have bothered to buy stock in Dettol, I'd be writing this in the Caribbean just from yesterday's events. These little instances, however heartbreaking, always bring me out of the clouds and remind me that there is a new adventure around the corner.

Dishes or Penny Dreadful? That is the question.

I am sitting on the sofa facing one of those life changing decisions. My daughter is at school and my tiny son is finally asleep upstairs. This is one of those rare moments when I could have something called 'me time'. What is that you ask? Well really, I have no idea but I am keen to try it! I cue up the latest episode of Penny Dreadful (one of my guilty pleasures) when suddenly my life flashes before my eyes. All I can see is a mountain of dishes piled up in the kitchen from last night's dinner and today's breakfast, laundry that needs folding, and....wait....what am I sitting on?? A giant Lego *sigh* How long have I been blissfully unaware of its presence? That was the tipping point. New plan. Do the dishes and tidy. The laundry can be done later. And so, with what feels like an elephant sitting on my legs, I slowly and sadly rise from what could have been a very exciting adventure in 19th-century England fighting demons, witches, and revealing the newest snag in this captivating tale. After what seems like an eternity, I arrive at the sink and am immediately overwhelmed by the enormity of the task in front of me. "How can a family of 4 possibly use so many dishes?" I wonder. But there is no time to ponder this matter if I am to make my quickly approaching deadline. I don't know how much time passed before I realized that the pile in front of me had hardly grown any smaller. Once again, I agonized over the choices. Dishes or Penny Dreadful?..........Dishes or Penny Dreadful?......... Dishes or Penny Dreadful?........ Just as I had decided to give in to the notion of sitting down, I heard a noise from above then the clunking of tiny 2 year old feet descending the staircase. Perhaps another day. But will I make the same decision next time or will I be able to ignore my chaotic surroundings?

Good Clean Fun

I was deleting old emails while the children were out playing in the garden nicely together (for once) when I found a message my other sent me ages ago that I had yet to read. 1/4 of the way through reading said email, the children came inside and B (the little brother) followed L (the big sister) into the bathroom, as you do when you’re a little brother. She shut the door which he usually hates but this time he seemed fine with it. Red flag #1 but I thought as long as they leave the bathroom alive and semi-intact I’ll leave them to it. Another sentence read and the screaming starts:

L: No Brannon stay there! Stop moving!!
B: ajfdkjhalejhoieaflkdn;ksajf; lakuioejfkjdfjkfd;iri (I took this to mean “leave me the F*** alone sister!”)

It’s ok they’ll have to sort it out themselves because this email is just getting good.

*silence* red flag #2. I’m sure they’re fine. I don’t see any flooding…..yet…….

2 more sentences read

B: adkfldhkahskdjfkdfklsjlkdfjklsjdfk fjdksla;sdkfjdlksjfalsjdkflj jdfklsaksdjf;lkasjdl;fkjskljfkljd *bang bang bang on the door*

They’ll be out in a minute I’m sure………..read to the end………*silence* red flag #3……………door flies open and out comes Brannon using his angry tell-on-sister-voice shouting about something I can’t understand

Me writing back looking at the computer: What is it Brannon? You ok?
B: NO! HAIR! SISTA! HAIRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

*look up from computer at Brannon who is now at my feet stomping his very loudly* oooooh I see Brannon *as he is batting at his wet hair with both hands trying to get the water off*

And the best part? I am sure you're wondering just how this could possibly get any better...... he now has wet crumbs glued to his hair and scalp. Bath time anyone?